Sunday, November 29, 2009

Whiffs, shanks and duffs

What in the hell is Tiger Woods thinking? Here are the facts: at 2:25 a.m., the highest paid and , arguably, the most recognized athlete on the planet is involved in a single car accident within feet of his house. Woods was rendered unconscious, had to be pulled out of the back window of his SUV by his wife, suffered lacerations to his face and required a trip to the hospital in the back of an ambulance (a neighbor called 911), where he was treated and released. Other casualties include the fire hydrant Woods ran over and the tree Woods crashed into, no word on the extent of their injuries or prognosis. The local police do not believe alcohol was involved and are treating the incident as a traffic accident and not a domestic dispute. The airbags in Woods SUV did not deploy, which would lead one to assume that the accident happened at a speed under 33 m.p.h. (they should deploy at a higher speed) or that the airbags somehow malfunctioned. Local law enforcement authorities have stated that no charges will be filed. The Florida Highway Patrol is conducting a routine investigation (though the accident happened outside their jurisdiction, law requires them to investigate) and Woods has three times refused to give a statement. Woods has also released a statement on his website calling the accident "his fault alone" and praising his wife's courage while offering no substantive comment on the causes and asking everyone to understand that he, and his family have a right to privacy.

Let me get this straight . . . Tiger gets in his car at 2:30 in the morning, drives about 200 feet not exceeding 33 m.p.h., loses control, wipes out a fire hydrant, crashes into a tree, cuts his face, knocks himself out forcing his wife to pull him out of the car after breaking the back window with a golf club and has his face sewn up and the local ER and he is not drunk. OK, I'm with you up to now. What I can't understand is how El Tigre expects the world to not go apeshit trying to track down more information. There could very well be a reasonable explanation for all of this. That, however, is NOT what people will assume. Conspiracy theories will abound, lurid stories will be twittered and blogged and, in the absence of any information from Woods to the contrary, everyone will assume the worst. Especially since he has refused to give a statement to the police. If Woods is acting on the advice of a publicist, that person should be fired. Tiger and his family may have a right to privacy, but no reasonable person in this day and age expects a mega-watt celebrity to get it.

Tiger, please, get real! Mark McGwire tried the "no comment" defense and look where it got him. You can either shape the discussion of this event yourself, or let the likes of TMZ and the National Enquirer do it for you. The facts simply don't add up here and folks know that something is being left out of the story. Maybe you were just out for a box of snuggies and a gatorade, got on your cell phone while driving and . . . ok, I don't really believe that, but it is possible. The point is, it appears as though you are hiding something and the muckrakers of the world will dig until they find it. Your chance to control this thing ended the moment 911 was called and it became part of the public record. Somewhere out there is a hospital worker who needs extra cash, a state trooper who is offended at your lack of cooperation or a neighbor with a video camera. The yellow, or perhaps even legitimate, journalists will find them and offer them money, or a sympathetic ear and get their story. The privacy you're trying to hold on to is already gone. Whatever the situation is, fess up and explain. We all make mistakes, act stupid or behave recklessly at times. It's part of the human condition. Yes, there are those who will condemn, but I believe most will forgive. Your window of opportunity is quickly closing. For the sake of the good you do in this world because of your popularity, wealth and charitable works I hope you act before it is too late.

Thursday, November 26, 2009

H0M0 vaccinations for all

Evidently, I'm one of the five living human beings in the western world who didn't know who in the hell Adam Lambert was before he locked lips and simulated oral sex with his male keyboardist during his performance on the American Music Awards. I still can't claim to care about most things Adam Lambert, his music isn't for me, You won't see me dressing that way any time soon, I couldn't give less of a damn about American Idol alumni, etc. What does interest me is the unbelievable amount of breast tearing, wailing and teeth gnashing being generated by a stage performance. Pundits, politicians, television networks, sponsors, bloggers, facebookers, tweeters and my aunt Marge all seem to have decided that a same sex kiss is tantamount to the coming of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.

Pardon me for asking this but, what's the big damn deal? What is everyone worried about? Take, for instance, the reaction of the Parent's Television Council. You know these folks, poster children for tolerance all. A quick look at their web site reveals that their advisory board and board of directors are chock full of 50's entertainers, bible belt zealots and denizens of the right. Peopled with such names as Billy Ray Cyrus, Pat Boone, republican lobbyist Marybeth Hicks and William Bennett, the council is a true melting pot of far right hypocrisy. Their press release concerning the broadcast is a masterful blending of "holier than thou" and overt threat for any commercial sponsor involved in the broadcast (read here). In perusing the rest of the releases slamming television programming, I find that the PTC dislikes most of the programs I am a fan of. Comfort, at last! Equally critical but more craven are a host of networks and sponsors who are raising white flags in greater numbers than Iraqi conscripts. Good Morning America and The View are just two television programs who have cut appearances by Lambert or vetoed discussion of the topic.

To quote that notorious purveyor of television violence, cross dressing and prejudice, Bugs Bunny, "what's all the hubbub, . . . Bub?" Are these folks afraid our impressionable youth will see this and . . . what? Want to do it too? Ask mommy and daddy what the funny looking man on T.V. is doing? For all of you parents out there who use the T.V. as a substitute parent, I would respectfully submit you've got better things to worry about. Here's another tip: homosexuality isn't contagious and it's not passed to impressionable, red blooded American youth by racy, weirdly dressed counter culture types either (although I think I just described the plot of several new teenage vampire movies and series!). If your child engages in same sex erotic activity, it's because they're gay and not for any other reason. There's no vaccine they can take or course of treatment (brainwashing)they can participate in to get rid of it, because it's not a damn disease. Deal with it the same way you should if your child asks you an uncomfortable question about what they just saw on T.V. Have a flippin conversation! Be a parent, not a services provider. Better yet, pay attention to what your child is doing and refuse them the right to watch programs that don't fit in with your family values.

One last point for all of those who believe they're doing a public service by condemning Mr. Lambert's act in the most public possible fashion. You are all playing right in to his openly gay, glam rocker's hands. He MEANT to generate controversy and loud complaints. He's a performer and wants as much exposure as he can get, no matter what form it takes. He wants people like me, who don't watch American Idol or follow the latest trends in music to know who he is. It generates millions of dollars worth of record sales and endorsements for him and his record label. It generates meaningful conversation on discrimination against the gay and lesbian community. Look for the book deal next! Well done, folks, well done.

Monday, November 23, 2009

Fear and loathing

Fellow travelers, for me it's no surprise the health care reform debate is grabbing headlines and creating controversy. This is perhaps the most far reaching and important legislation many of us will see in our lifetime. The health care reform bills working their way through our legislature have the potential to effect every American citizen in one form or another. Millions of Americans who have no access to meaningful health care would be covered. Millions more who are paying extortionate health insurance rates would see their burdens eased. This program would not be without cost. Let's face it: we will see taxes raised in a variety of forms if this bill passes. These are all valid points and should be raised in the public debate. There are valid arguments to be made on both sides of this issue. The eventual form any law would take should be open to vigorous debate and end in bi-partisan compromise. Sadly, that will not be the case with this legislation. The Grand Old Party, the party of Lincoln, Eisenhower and Reagan, has surrendered to it's fringe elements and lobbyists. Republican politicians have made a conscious choice to obstruct, rather than to join in this momentous process.

American politics have always been a contest between conflicting interest groups. Fundamental disagreement between political parties on many issues is to be expected and, in large part, is good for the country. That disagreement should foster the debate that keeps our government healthy and vigorous. Where then, is the alternative plan from the distinguished gentlemen of the right? Where is the Republican vision for the national health care system? Where is their proposed law, detailing the method by which we should, "promote the general welfare," as the preamble to the constitution so quaintly puts it?

As we all know, there isn't one. Rather than share an opposing vision, Republicans have closed ranks with the status quo. Their choice is to condemn the poor, the elderly and the disadvantaged to poor health, quality of life and increased risk of death. Unemployment rates are at a generational high. More American citizens than ever are in desperate need of health care reform. Doctors are prevented from treating patients the proper way because their decisions are controlled by accountants working for health insurance companies. Americans who could be saved, who could enjoy greater quality of life are being abandoned at the expense of large corporations with deep pockets who can pay for things like lobbyists and congressional junkets, but won't pony up for more frequent testing and treatment.

Not that our brothers on the right have been idle, mind you. Their level of activity has been frenzied, to say the least. They have been busy sowing fear and hatred with television appearances, conference calls and web commercials castigating moderates who feel the bill should at least see the Senate floor for debate. RNC Chairman Michael Steele defended this approach by saying the health care debate has been, "anything but open . . .anything but fair." This from the party who has threatened to filibuster the moment they are allowed to speak on the floor, quashing any hope for meaningful debate.

The sad fact for all Americans is, there are undoubtedly ways to improve this bill, to make it more efficient, less costly. There are undoubtedly lawmakers on the Republican side who could help to shape the debate in a meaningful way and bring these ways to light. They won't, though. They have all decided that party loyalty means more that loyalty to constituents, to the American people they have sworn to represent and to the American system of governance as a whole. They prefer to use the tactics of fear, threat, innuendo and exclusion. Their hypocrisy is mind numbing, but then, maybe that's what they're after. Perhaps they seek to drone on, spread fear, play on the fears of the under informed and delay until this whole messy idea goes away and they can accept another fat campaign donation from their corporate bed-mates. Here's hoping the American people holds every one of them accountable in the aftermath and display their loathing at the ballot box.

Thursday, November 19, 2009

". . .and we shall call it the Church of Psychotic Bastards."

Fellow travelers, a new purveyor of hateful buffoonery has wandered into the Vagabond's path, giving me the tough choice of stepping on the low life form and befouling my shoe, or giving it a wide berth and letting it crawl on unmolested . . . Well, it is about time for a new shoe purchase so here we go!

This latest creepy life form is none other than Fred Phelps, the founder and hateriarch of the Westboro Baptist Church, of Topeka Kansas. Fred and his stadium capacity sized family are absolutely unique figures in today's polarized world. They make no distinction based on religious, political, gender or sexual preference lines whatsoever. They hate everybody not in the Westboro Baptist Church and, given that its membership is a mere 71 people (60 of whom are reportedly related to Phelps), odds are YOU are on their list. You may have seen these whackaloons in the news over the past decade, spewing their toxic brand of fire and brimstone at such diverse groups as gays, fallen service members, Jews, political figures and pretty much everyone else. They proudly maintain several websites run by the church with names such as, "god hates fags dot com," "god hates America dot com" and so on (I made a conscious choice not to insert hyperlinks here). After damaging my brain cells reading their ignorant rants, I searched a few more reputable sources and I must say that even my jaded self was amazed at the level of interest such a small group of weirdos has generated. My background reading can be found here and here.

It seems that Fred's central premise is that (let me see if I can get this right), "fags are evil, the entire world either are fags, accept fags or haven't done enough to eradicate fags." There, I think I've managed to distill the thought to it's essence. Someone should tell Fred that brevity is the soul of wit. It would save all of us a lot of time. Of course, we would have to explain the concept of wit to Fred, thus canceling any accrued time savings. Also, I would like to point out the quotation marks around the sentence containing the derogatory slur commonly used by ignorant pigs to refer to members of the gay and lesbian community. Not my thinking, fellow travelers!

Fred's latest target is the worldwide population of the Jewish faith. It would seem that Fred's opinion of Jews is a bit colored by the fact that he believes them to be enablers for homosexuals, in addition to subscribing to the normal and pathetic conspiracy theories that have dogged members of that faith for centuries. With stunning originality, Fred and his (to use the term VERY loosely) congregants have added Synagogues and Jewish faith centers to their target list for protests, carrying protest signs with such enlightening phrases as "God hates Jews" and "Jews killed Jesus." This from the same guy that routinely prays for MORE dead U.S. soldiers and Marines, was a pen pal of Saddam Hussein before he issued him a post mortem condemnation to hell (nope, I'm not kidding . . .read the supporting articles), and has condemned everyone from Bill O'Reilly to Coretta Scott King in the same foul breath. Even the late Jerry Falwell called this guy a "first class nut." If Jerry Falwell calls you a nut, I'm thinking you've got some serious, get treatment immediately type head problems.

What bothers me here is, these poisonous, hate spewing morons are afforded protection under law as a religious organization, despite the fact that they routinely violate the regulations governing that protection. They routinely engage in political action, haunt the funerals of fallen heroes, deface and destroy the flag, spew hate at anyone who isn't less narrow minded than them (the rest of the world population, as I stated before) and, well . . . engage in all manner of asshatery! Enough! The IRS would be doing everyone a favor if they would just end the ability of these morons to dignify their actions as the operations of a church.

Hey Fred, as a self styled man of God and fundamental christian, why don't you try reading the New Testament? You know, the part Christ was in? You might be surprised.

My apologies to Eddie Izzard for using the title quote for this subject, but given the fact that Eddie is a transvestite, as well as a brilliant comedian, I'm thinking he won't mind.

Wednesday, November 18, 2009

Libel, Schmibel

To all fellow travelers who blog, tweet, facebook, myspace or otherwise post content in that wacky, wonderful place known as the internet, beware! During my daily travels I am seeing an increasing number of stories detailing lawsuits for libel being pursued based on internet posts. The latest and most notorious is the Love vs. Simorangkir case, in which that professional bridge burner and National Enquirer cover girl Courtney Love is being sued for damages based on comments posted to her twitter account. It seems Courtney didn't like the price of some garments she had made by Simorangkir, a well known fashion designer. Not content to argue face to face or, say, trash her shop in person, Courtney decided to tweet that Ms. Simorangkir had a history of peddling a white powdery substance often taken nasally. Courtney is now being hauled into court . . . More details can be found here.

What in the world does this have to do with any of us, you ask? According to several legal experts, no one really knows yet. Could you be held liable for your online libel? Quite possibly and the Love case, along with a couple of others cited in the link above, will set legal precedents on these matters so they do bear watching by the online community. In this case technology has outpaced the laws that govern free speech online, and these cases represent new and untried areas of law. The simple message is, protect yourself. Having worked as a journalist and having been forced to memorize great portions of the Associated Press Style Guide and Libel Manual, I do have a few tips to share.

First, a definition. Libel is the communication of a statement through written or other permanent means that makes a claim, expressly stated or implied to be factual, that would give an individual, group or product a negative image. Groups can include organizations, nations, companies, etc.

Some common defenses against libel include:

Truth - In most U.S. jurisdictions, statements proven to be true are not libelous

Opinion - If the statement is indentified to be opinion and not fact, it is protected by the first amandment.

Public Figure Doctrine- Also known as the absence of malice, this precedent holds that in order for a public figure to win a libel case, they must prove the statement was published with foreknowledge of falsity or reckless disregard for the truth.

Wikipedia has a much more comprehensive overview here.

Why should we care? I think anyone who blogs regularly and posts comments or content that involve other persons should at least know the law and their potential liability. In the great majority of cases, an individual blogger flies under the radar and is in little danger of being sued. Just remember that everything you post on a public, searchable forum can, and in some cases is, being used against the person creating the post. I'm looking forward to hearing back from my fellow blogger readers, all six of you. I think this is an issue any constitution loving american should follow with interest.

Monday, November 16, 2009

Miscellany

Sorry, fellow travelers. My wandering ways took me out of town this past weekend for a bit of quality time with Mrs. Vagabond. For some strange reason, Mrs. Vagabond does not consider watching me type on my laptop to be "quality time". My apologies for the neglect but, after all, Mrs. Vagabond's other nickname is "She Who Must Be Obeyed." You married guys understand. For those guys out there who are single and snickering, just wait. Someday you too will obey. For the ladies in the audience, I'm not telling you anything you don't already know and exploit.

Just went to see the new apocalyptic F/X fest "2012". I found it to be two plus hours of delicious eye candy, ridiculous enough in it's own Hollywood way, yet well worth the price of a ticket if you like to see things getting destroyed on a biblical scale by an angry cosmos. Just after seeing the movie, I read that NASA actually felt the need to issue a press release to tell folks that the world will not actually come to an end in the year 2012. Really? . . . Really? For those of you who want to read this rather incredible piece of news, it can be found here. I know I shouldn't be surprised by the fact that gullible, ignorant rubes are grabbing any excuse to stockpile ammo and canned goods in the cellar but, come on, NASA puts out a press release due to public clamor and anxiety? Who actually believes this tripe? Evidently way to many folks! Come on, people, do we really need to put public funds and resources into placating idiots who believe this? How many times in the history of the world have people climbed the mountain in anticipation of the end of the world, only to slink back down embarrassed and desperately trying to justify their prediction? Answer: MANY,MANY TIMES! Give it up, folks! If it does happen, you won't be ready, you won't survive, so just pour your favorite libation and greet the end in style.

Another fact that's racing around my synapses causing damage involves the upcoming summer Olympics in London. Word is out on the entertainment and we are going to have . . . Wait for it . . . The Spice Girls. England has how many world class, brilliant musicians who are entitled to put "Sir" in front of their name and the best they can do is the fucking Spice Girls? What about Sir Elton, Sir Paul, Sir Cliff . . . For God's sake how about the Rolling fucking Stones??? Even Sting, who is a musical motherfucking genius, is a Commander of the British Empire!!! The best you all can do for the Olympics is the Spice Girls??? That would be like we Americans putting on an Olympics and using Vanilla Ice as the opening act. As an amateur historian, who specializes in the British Empire period, I am aghast. Please let sanity break out and change this heinous abuse of the Olympic tradition.

Dare I speak about Sarah Palin's book? Does she take any responsibility about anything that has happened in her life? To hear her say it, Charlie Gibson, Katie Couric, John McCain's staffers and Levi whatsisname are to blame for all of her miscues and family problems. Talk about the vast anywing conspiracy . . . Hey Sarah, how about realizing that your hubris has outrun your qualifications??? Stick to shooting moose, salmon fishing and raising your Walmart family and please, please forget about trying to lead a country you have no flipping clue about.

Thanks, fellow travelers, for listening to things that randomly appeared in the Vagabond's brain during the weekend couples retreat. More structured posts are coming in the near future.

Thursday, November 12, 2009

Uncommon valor meets common crap

You know, fellow travelers, every now and then my fellow human beings surprise even me with the depths they will sink to. Witness one Steve Burton, 39, of Palm Springs, CA. who today plead not guilty to the charge of "unauthorized wearing of military medals or decorations." Burton, a bank officer whom has never served in any military service, allegedly wore a Marine Lt. Col. uniform festooned with medals to his high school class reunion earlier this year. He has also published photos in a blog post that show him wearing a Marine Gunnery Sgt. uniform, also covered in medals. Not just any medals, mind you. We're talking Navy Cross, Silver Star, Purple Heart, Legion of Merit, Distinguished Service Medal and various campaign and service medals, plus a friggin' combat action ribbon! I'm all for due process and not rushing to judgement, but in this case the whistle blower is a Navy Lt. Cmdr. classmate who saw this turd at said reunion, copped a picture with him and sent it to the FBI. The FBI then uncovered the blog post photos and comments detailing his supposed combat experience in Iraq and Afghanistan. In this case, I'm gonna rush just a bit on the judgement. For those who want the full report, it can be found at http://www.cnn.com/2009/CRIME/11/12/california.medals.charge/index.html

The fact that this slimy creature is wearing decorations earned by the likes of Puller, Edson, Vandegrift, Halsey and Spruance makes me and, I hope, every American with any respect for the military service, ill. The worst part is, the penalty for this crime, a federal misdemeanor, is only one short year in prison. I truly think the Romans had a better take on this one. A conviction would have denied the perpetrator fire or water within 500 miles of the country's boundaries and confiscated all of his wealth and property. They then went about eradicating every piece of evidence that the turd in question ever existed. Alas for modern lenience! Hopefully, this maggot can share a post conviction cell with former Rep. Randy "Duke" Cunningham. Cunningham is an actual, if disgraced, winner of the Navy Cross for service in Viet Nam. Cunningham may be one of the most corrupt elected officials in the history of elected officials, but at least he got his decoration legitimately. Now, wouldn't that be an interesting cellmate conversation?

Wednesday, November 11, 2009

Uniform thoughts

Today, in observance of Veteran's Day, I'm going to take the advice of a friend and fellow veteran. She makes a good case for the increasing isolation from mainstream society of the military community, and suggests that those of us who have and do wear the uniform reach out to those who haven't and try to share our experiences. My own experience in the service was a wonderful, strange, exhilarating and exhausting eleven years in the U.S. Navy. I was stationed on two ships, an overseas NATO base and a quiet, sleepy air training station in south Texas. A traveling soul couldn't hope for a better deal.

Even ten years after my time in uniform came to an end, my memories are vivid and varied. Shipboard life was cramped, often hot and smelly and difficult at the best of times. You stand watch for long periods, with all too little time in between. During long stretches at sea, backbreaking hard work is relieved only by periods of crushing boredom. You live with 30 other people in a space the size of a small apartment bedroom. Training is a constant; fire drills in suffocating and heavy gear, launching mock amphibious attacks on the sheep population of San Clemente Island, man-overboard drills and mass casualty drills were all a feature of the daily routine. Danger was constant. We trained as we did because fire was an ever present hazard, war was a not so distant probability, a shipmate could fall overboard at any time and ships are packed full of dangerous, volatile substances that a moment of inattention could turn into scores of injuries. We worked our asses off in an environment that would have most American workers screaming to OSHA that their management was trying to kill them that very day, AND WE LOVED IT!

Not all of us and not all of the time, but we did, really, deep down, love it. We keep in touch and greet as long lost friends shipmates we really didn't like that much at the time. We fondly recall this or that harrowing experience the way a star athlete recalls the big games of his career. We join associations for ships that have long since been made into razor blades and carburetors and we swap stories of liberty port revels that would cause riot police to be deployed if they happened at home. We saw things we never thought we would get to, traveled to places that maybe 1 percent of Americans will ever see, we learned, we grew and we developed skills and coping mechanisms that will serve us well for our entire lives. We realized the sublime pleasure of functioning as a part of something bigger and more important. We had a cause.

These reminisces are just one veteran's out of millions. We all have our stories, experiences and triumphs. If you've never worn the uniform, that's okay, not everyone does and we understand. If you've never sought out a veteran and asked about their experiences, you might want to try. I'm sure it will be entertaining, educational, interesting and occasionally bring a tear to the eye. To all my former shipmates, comrades, friends and to those still in uniform (like Mrs. Vagabond, who is in the NYNG), I hope your veterans day is happy, safe and peaceful.

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

Honors and titles

Normally, I try not to pay much attention to pundits from either end of the political spectrum. I tend to consider them to be parasites on the body politic and, like most parasites, deserve consideration only when you are considering how to eradicate them. That being said, every once in a great while I hear something from a pundit that is so idiotic, so utterly, titanically stupid that is drowns out the background noise and causes me to assume that "dog that just heard a new noise" pose while I try to keep that particular bit of incendiary doggerel from racing around my synapses and doing irreparable damage. Well fellow travelers, in the past couple of months, one of the most odious of this disgusting species has raised its eye stalks out of the ooze it normally inhabits to reach a new low in political discussion. Truly, a stunning achievement . . .

That's right, I'm writing about the Jabba the Hutt of the conservative camp, Rush Hudson Limbaugh, III. Since the beginning of August, he has compared a sitting president and the speaker of the house to Adolph Hitler and blamed the same president for a shocking and heinous mass murder. In separate comments, Limbaugh compared the Democratic party's efforts to pass health care reform to the activities of the Nazi party. He claimed that, "Obama's got a health care logo that's right out of the Nazi playbook . . ." and claimed that liberalism is closest to Fascism in the political spectrum. Rush, get your eyes checked and go back to school for some political science classes. The health care logo in question features a caduceus, the ancient symbol of the medical profession, having everything to do with Hippocrates, not Hitler. Additionally, anyone who has been to polisci 101 knows that fascism is on the extreme RIGHT of the political spectrum, where Rush himself resides. Even more reprehensible, this past week Limbaugh stated on his radio show that the recent tragedy at Ft. Hood could be laid at Pres. Obama's door as well. His reasoning here is a bit torturous, so bear with me. He seems to believe that, as Maj. Hasan was disgruntled over the continued war in Afghanistan, it stands to reason the Pres. Obama could have stopped the shooting spree by ending the war. I know, I know . . . I just lost some of you. It's okay. Come back when you can. The sheer galactic stupidity of this comment may have actually caused me to lose IQ points. Gee Rush, I had no idea it was that simple. Just end the thing and come home. Brilliant! What happened the the screaming and wailing of months past about the liberal betrayal of our men and women in the military, brought about by the desire to have a timetable for withdrawal from Iraq? What about the screaming of every conservative of note that we owe it to our military and to the Afghan people to stay the course, no matter how costly and bloody? What about the unconditional support of the Bush administration and all neoconpoops for Hamid Karzai, recent winner of the All Asia Competition for Corruption? Not only that, but Rush, for all of his continuing wailing about the evil and disaster that awaits the country due to the Obama administration's supposed incompetence, is now crediting the president with the ability to predict the future!

Let's face it, the country has it's share of neandercons who are busy stockpiling canned goods and ammo and whacko lefties who believe no society is just unless the government controls every aspect of our lives. Nobody is ever going to change their minds about the way of things. Idiots like Rush and his far left counterparts have no net effect on the opinions of the political fringe. What bugs me is the effect on meaningful political discourse, which is more endangered in this country than the snail darter. How much time have elected officials on both sides of the aisle wasted devoting time and comment responding to this idiot's rants? It gives new meaning to the word "incredulity" that this fat, ranting, hateful sack of flesh has wormed his way into the mainstream national consciousness. It's enough to make any sane person fear for the future of the republic.

So, here's to you, Rush. The Vagabond way hereby pays homage to the vast bulk of your hate, your enormous mass of narrow mindedness and the voluminous spewing of mindless neoconpoopery that issues forth from your overlarge pie-hole. Let all who read these words know, we hereby proclaim and declare that you have been awarded the title of Asshat Emeritus.

Sunday, November 8, 2009

Medicine with a bad aftertaste

The word from Washington late Saturday night was one of a rare victory for the individual citizen over special interests and lobbyists. At long last, a significant step has been taken toward national health care. Something for everyone to be happy about, right? Well . . . I suppose that's true up to a point. I absolutely believe that the nation as a whole needs this program, especially if its implementation brings some sanity to escalating health care costs. My problem is the amount of shrill screaming coming from the Republican side of the house. Representatives Pence of Indiana, Boehner of Ohio, RNC Chariman Steele and Sen. Lieberman of Connecticut have taken carping and whining to levels undreamed of before. Enough, already! If I hear one more announcement about how this plan will bankrupt the country and doom our children to a bad life, I will begin to advocate political assassination as a government improvement tool! (Just in case the FBI is listening in, JUST KIDDING! Please, don't break down my door in the middle of the night and subject me to water boarding or some other such interrogation technique. Vagabond needs his beauty sleep.)

The simple fact is, the country is doomed to bankruptcy and our children to bad lives WITHOUT this plan, or a reasonable facsimile thereof. Has anybody seen the statistics on how much it's costing us now to foot the bill for those who carry no health insurance? What of all of the learned, experienced lawmakers who really believe this plan is bad? The answer is simple: They are the same fat-cats who have always been in the pocket of special interests and their enormous pocket books. They couldn't care less if the average family can afford health insurance. In reality, the only segment of the American population not to benefit from this plan is the HEALTH INSURANCE COMPANIES!! They will no longer be able extort huge sums from policy holders, will be restricted in how they dictate care methods to actual doctors, and it will be harder for them to cancel coverage on a whim. Someone please tell me, what's wrong with that?

As for the most strident of the doomsayers, your friend and mine Joe Lieberman, what in the hell happened to this guy? He hasn't taken a strong stand on anything except getting his smarmy mug on T.V. and in the papers since he was a Vice-Presidential candidate. His only cause is the furtherance of the Joe Lieberman show, brought to you nightly. Joe, you are singularly disgusting. Have some mercy on yourself and the rest of us, and put an end to the terminal patient that is your morals free political career.

Thank heavens for some sanity in this whole process. Rep. Anh "Joseph" Cao, R- LA, was actually quoted as saying he, "Put the interests of my constituents above the interests of my party," when he cast the lone republican "yes" vote in the house. Congressman Cao, you sir are my hero. Of course, given the subject matter, my standards are pretty low.

Saturday, November 7, 2009

A picture is worth . . .



Traveler's alert!

In your contining journey, you may have noticed that the citizens of the great state of Maine have recently declined to allow same sex marriage through a statewide referendum. My own journey having never taken me to that state, I only know it through the works of Stephen King, so I believe it to be populated by vampires, monsters, ghosts, possesed cars, demonic dogs and tormented, psychokinetic high school girls. Not a place the vagabond wants to end up in! Well, evidently we have photographic evidence that, besides the hyperactive horror novel population, a large contingent of rednecks reside in our most New English of states. Having seen this, my incredulity at the recent decision of Maine voters evaporated instantly.

Dear residents of Maine,

The Vagabond way hereby and forthwith boycotts your narrow minded, redneck, bigoted and ingnorant state. We also inform you of your nomination for our new "Moron of the Week Award." Vagabond thinks you have the inside track for this weeks award. Congratulations, asshats!

Betrayal and heroism

By now, we've all seen the coverage of the horrific events that took place at Ft. Hood on Thursday. An Army Major and psychiatrist, Nidal Hasan, killed thirteen souls and wounded 38, before being seriously wounded by law enforcement officers responding to the incident. Perhaps the most shocking facts present in that last sentence deal with the shooter's profession and vocation.

An Army officer who, by virtue of his commission, had sworn to support and defend the constitution of the United States and bear true faith and allegiance to the same committed this crime. A physician who, by virtue of the Hippocratic oath and the other ethical values of his profession, had sworn to deliver care and healing to those trusted to his care, committed this crime.

I'm sure most of us are wondering how any human being can reach a point in their journey where employing a firearm against your sworn comrades in arms and patients seems to be the right path to take. As someone who has taken much the same oath of service in the past, I cannot imagine how you can knowingly choose to travel that road. His actions have broken the faith with his family, his comrades, his colleagues and his community. A sworn officer and physician has violently turned his back on his duty and taken the life of innocents. Why?

Thankfully and perhaps amazingly, there seems to have been no rush to judgement as to motive. It would be all too easy in this day and age to give in to fear and prejudice, to assume that, as a practicing Muslim and as a man of Palestinian descent, that Maj. Hasan was the tool of conspiracy or that his crime was a result of religious fervor. Here's hoping that sanity continues to prevail. The Army has a difficult task ahead, investigating the crime, consoling the families, healing the injured and honoring the dead. We should all trust them to that task and suspend judgement until the facts are known. We should also remember that Maj. Hasan's victims include his own family members, who must be feeling a special brand of grief and horror.

In the coming days, as the facts come to light and the picture becomes less murky, let's all make an effort to remember the victims, to respect their right to grieve privately and to recover. Let us honor our fallen comrades and celebrate their lives and contributions to our nation. Let us practice patience as we grieve, and judge the aftermath with a surfeit of fact and sober reflection. When you see the our nations flag flying low, remember why and remember the price of freedom is not always exacted far from home or in a strange place. Sometimes the tree of liberty extracts is blood price far to close to home.

Friday, November 6, 2009

Everybody loves a parade . . . unless

Sometimes your journeys are better planned that unplanned. Witness today, as I was on my way to lower Manhattan to view the Yankees championship parade. I was ready for the packed subways, blocked off streets, unbelievable congestion, etc. What I was not prepared for was the dificulty of trying to find one friend in this sea of cheering humanity, even though they were at a well known and very visible landmark building. In local parlance, "fuggedaboudit"! Never did meet up with my friend, or even get to see much of the parade, given the crush of fellow Yankees fans trying to do the same thing. Setting myself this task was somewhat like a salmon trying to get upstream to spawn through a river of wet concrete. Just wasnt gonna happen!

Still, all in all a great day. There's something special about seeing normally intense or rude New yorkers happy to be in an enomous crowd where they can't move. Everone was ecstatic to be there and it didn't matter what happened, they were gonna cheer for their team. I highly recommend the experience. More tomorrow, travelers . . .

Thursday, November 5, 2009

New journey

Sometimes you plan your next stop on life's journey, and sometimes you get booted off the train and have to experience your next location with no prior planning. This, alas, is what happened to me yesterday. The gigantic corporate entity I was employed with told me that my services were no longer needed after four short months. For fear of litigation, I won't mention their name, I'll just content myself with describing this entity as the largest retail purveyor of a brown caffeinated liquid in the known world.

I experienced all of the usual emotions associated with involuntary ejection from the career locomotive, like righteous indignation, wrath, worry, panic and dejection. I had been cast aside in a backwater town known as unemployment and had no bearings or direction. What in the hell am I gonna do now? Mrs. Vagabond does like to eat now and again and the owner of our shanty town does prefer to be paid for letting us pitch our tent there. Since this great country of ours hasn't been on the barter system for 400 years or so, we do need some scratch, a few ducats or some such coin of the realm in order to keep the journey moving forward.

I will also freely admit to some very unhealthy, non-productive hate and loathing for the ginormous, outwardly benevolent, seemingly caring, self-righteously green, sanctimoniously community friendly corporation full of rat-bastard pricks who had just canned me. I felt like one of the barnyard brethren in Orwell's "Animal farm" who had just caught the porcine leaders of utopia drinking from the old farmer's beer barrel and sleeping in his bed. All of the propaganda and slogans that had been bleated into my brain during recruitment and training were now bubbling to the surface of my thoughts and making me wonder how I was ever naive enough to buy into the whole "four legs good, two legs bad" type of corporate gobbledygook. In retrospect, I realized that I had been asked to do the impossible and given no time to retrieve the disastrous situation that had been the long term creation of others. I had responded by throwing myself headlong into the task, giving it my all and neglecting the other areas of my life in the misguided belief that I would be supported and developed. I had forgotten the first rule of corporate life: If your superior can cover up their own incompetence and save their skin by sacrificing you, they will.

Never fear, fellow travelers, never fear. Such counterproductive, backward looking thinking is not a normal, every day feature of this vagabond's mindset. I soon realized that this event, however traumatic at the time, is just another turn in the wonderful, meandering journey that is the vagabond way. As my own journey takes an unexpected turn, I will approach this new direction with an open minded curiosity and an anticipation for the experience. Time to reinvent this vagabond once again and who knows where that process will lead. All I know now is that I will enjoy the journey . . .

Welcome

Hello all, and welcome to the Vagabond way. I suppose it's fair for all of you to wonder why you should be reading this and what you will experience here. My hope is that you will read or see things that make you laugh, wryly shake your head, wonder at the idiocy that is everyday life and, maybe, just maybe, cause you to think, ponder, analyze or otherwise engage the gray matter on that hatstand above your shoulders.

As a warning, I will use profanity when the mood strikes me and will understand if you do the same in your comments. All viewpoints are welcome, criticism will be taken and spirited discussion will be encouraged. If you find it difficult to use correct spelling and grammar, or can't string a decent thought together, feel free to comment but expect to be pummeled mercilessly.

Why the Vagabond way? A vagabond is an itinerant person, characterized by almost continuous traveling. In the 19th century, the vagabond was more closely associated with Bohemianism. Critic Arthur Compton-Rickett defined a vagabond as a man "with a vagrant strain in the blood and a natural inquisitiveness about the world beyond their doors." Examples include Henry David Thoreau, Leo Tolstoy, Walt Whitman and Thomas de Quincy. So, The Vagabond way is a way-point for those restless, inquisitive souls who desire a temporary hearth to rest by and reflect on their experiences.

So again, welcome to all and we'll talk again soon . . .