Whiffs, shanks and duffs

What in the hell is Tiger Woods thinking? Here are the facts: at 2:25 a.m., the highest paid and , arguably, the most recognized athlete on the planet is involved in a single car accident within feet of his house. Woods was rendered unconscious, had to be pulled out of the back window of his SUV by his wife, suffered lacerations to his face and required a trip to the hospital in the back of an ambulance (a neighbor called 911), where he was treated and released. Other casualties include the fire hydrant Woods ran over and the tree Woods crashed into, no word on the extent of their injuries or prognosis. The local police do not believe alcohol was involved and are treating the incident as a traffic accident and not a domestic dispute. The airbags in Woods SUV did not deploy, which would lead one to assume that the accident happened at a speed under 33 m.p.h. (they should deploy at a higher speed) or that the airbags somehow malfunctioned. Local law enforcement authorities have stated that no charges will be filed. The Florida Highway Patrol is conducting a routine investigation (though the accident happened outside their jurisdiction, law requires them to investigate) and Woods has three times refused to give a statement. Woods has also released a statement on his website calling the accident "his fault alone" and praising his wife's courage while offering no substantive comment on the causes and asking everyone to understand that he, and his family have a right to privacy.

Let me get this straight . . . Tiger gets in his car at 2:30 in the morning, drives about 200 feet not exceeding 33 m.p.h., loses control, wipes out a fire hydrant, crashes into a tree, cuts his face, knocks himself out forcing his wife to pull him out of the car after breaking the back window with a golf club and has his face sewn up and the local ER and he is not drunk. OK, I'm with you up to now. What I can't understand is how El Tigre expects the world to not go apeshit trying to track down more information. There could very well be a reasonable explanation for all of this. That, however, is NOT what people will assume. Conspiracy theories will abound, lurid stories will be twittered and blogged and, in the absence of any information from Woods to the contrary, everyone will assume the worst. Especially since he has refused to give a statement to the police. If Woods is acting on the advice of a publicist, that person should be fired. Tiger and his family may have a right to privacy, but no reasonable person in this day and age expects a mega-watt celebrity to get it.

Tiger, please, get real! Mark McGwire tried the "no comment" defense and look where it got him. You can either shape the discussion of this event yourself, or let the likes of TMZ and the National Enquirer do it for you. The facts simply don't add up here and folks know that something is being left out of the story. Maybe you were just out for a box of snuggies and a gatorade, got on your cell phone while driving and . . . ok, I don't really believe that, but it is possible. The point is, it appears as though you are hiding something and the muckrakers of the world will dig until they find it. Your chance to control this thing ended the moment 911 was called and it became part of the public record. Somewhere out there is a hospital worker who needs extra cash, a state trooper who is offended at your lack of cooperation or a neighbor with a video camera. The yellow, or perhaps even legitimate, journalists will find them and offer them money, or a sympathetic ear and get their story. The privacy you're trying to hold on to is already gone. Whatever the situation is, fess up and explain. We all make mistakes, act stupid or behave recklessly at times. It's part of the human condition. Yes, there are those who will condemn, but I believe most will forgive. Your window of opportunity is quickly closing. For the sake of the good you do in this world because of your popularity, wealth and charitable works I hope you act before it is too late.