H0M0 vaccinations for all

Evidently, I'm one of the five living human beings in the western world who didn't know who in the hell Adam Lambert was before he locked lips and simulated oral sex with his male keyboardist during his performance on the American Music Awards. I still can't claim to care about most things Adam Lambert, his music isn't for me, You won't see me dressing that way any time soon, I couldn't give less of a damn about American Idol alumni, etc. What does interest me is the unbelievable amount of breast tearing, wailing and teeth gnashing being generated by a stage performance. Pundits, politicians, television networks, sponsors, bloggers, facebookers, tweeters and my aunt Marge all seem to have decided that a same sex kiss is tantamount to the coming of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.

Pardon me for asking this but, what's the big damn deal? What is everyone worried about? Take, for instance, the reaction of the Parent's Television Council. You know these folks, poster children for tolerance all. A quick look at their web site reveals that their advisory board and board of directors are chock full of 50's entertainers, bible belt zealots and denizens of the right. Peopled with such names as Billy Ray Cyrus, Pat Boone, republican lobbyist Marybeth Hicks and William Bennett, the council is a true melting pot of far right hypocrisy. Their press release concerning the broadcast is a masterful blending of "holier than thou" and overt threat for any commercial sponsor involved in the broadcast (read here). In perusing the rest of the releases slamming television programming, I find that the PTC dislikes most of the programs I am a fan of. Comfort, at last! Equally critical but more craven are a host of networks and sponsors who are raising white flags in greater numbers than Iraqi conscripts. Good Morning America and The View are just two television programs who have cut appearances by Lambert or vetoed discussion of the topic.

To quote that notorious purveyor of television violence, cross dressing and prejudice, Bugs Bunny, "what's all the hubbub, . . . Bub?" Are these folks afraid our impressionable youth will see this and . . . what? Want to do it too? Ask mommy and daddy what the funny looking man on T.V. is doing? For all of you parents out there who use the T.V. as a substitute parent, I would respectfully submit you've got better things to worry about. Here's another tip: homosexuality isn't contagious and it's not passed to impressionable, red blooded American youth by racy, weirdly dressed counter culture types either (although I think I just described the plot of several new teenage vampire movies and series!). If your child engages in same sex erotic activity, it's because they're gay and not for any other reason. There's no vaccine they can take or course of treatment (brainwashing)they can participate in to get rid of it, because it's not a damn disease. Deal with it the same way you should if your child asks you an uncomfortable question about what they just saw on T.V. Have a flippin conversation! Be a parent, not a services provider. Better yet, pay attention to what your child is doing and refuse them the right to watch programs that don't fit in with your family values.

One last point for all of those who believe they're doing a public service by condemning Mr. Lambert's act in the most public possible fashion. You are all playing right in to his openly gay, glam rocker's hands. He MEANT to generate controversy and loud complaints. He's a performer and wants as much exposure as he can get, no matter what form it takes. He wants people like me, who don't watch American Idol or follow the latest trends in music to know who he is. It generates millions of dollars worth of record sales and endorsements for him and his record label. It generates meaningful conversation on discrimination against the gay and lesbian community. Look for the book deal next! Well done, folks, well done.